Hot Takes!

Want some half-baked thoughts of what Accutane is like? This is what it was like for me:


Want lips as kissable as tree bark? Try Accutane!


Think your mental health isn’t exciting? Are you too well adjusted? Do you want to be sad for no reason? Are you my shrink? Accutane might be for you, you smug yoga-loving bastard.


You like dandruff falling out of your hair but you’ve always thought, “Why stop at scalp? Why not the face too?” Try Accutane today.


Get in a lot of fights? Me neither. Want to boost your street cred? Me too. Have a bloody nose every day* with Accutane!

*results may take up to six weeks, not recommended for pregnant women. In fact, getting into fights might be safer for pregnant women.


Tired of waking up in the morning and worrying about how you look? Has your acne outlived the teeny bopper, douche, public indecency, jail and redemption phases of the latest trashboy popstar? Think about Accutane.