Six Months – Week 30

October 7th. Saturday

I made a countdown calendar. I’ve never been one of those people. But I’ll find out who I am after this is over. My last day is Halloween. Weird, but I like it. I’m going to cross every day leading up to it.

I’ve found this last month to be a lot better than the ones before. I think it’s because the end is in sight. I also realized this is my 6th prescription. Which means if you’re spicy hot at scheduling appointments, it’s possible to get this done in just over six months instead of seven and a half.

I’ve been the usual up and down, emotional void this past week. I’m more optimistic, granted. And that makes a lot of things easier. But I can’t wait to get out of here.

I spent a lot of yesterday in bed. I didn’t have the energy for anything. Or… willpower rather. It was one of those days when there are a million things you can do so you start all of them but then are too stressed to continue doing any of them. After a while, I just gave up and went to my room. I ended up watching some Youtube videos for a few hours, something I forbid myself to do while I’m at school. I injured my leg in a rehearsal earlier in the day, which added to my lethargy.

All of this time I spent in bed reminded me of how my face used to feel when I had it up against a surface for any significant amount of time. I would start noticing a kind of stinging after a bit, and then came the dread of wondering whether that spot would be the stomping ground of a new breakout. I didn’t feel any fear yesterday.

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