Revisited – Week 24

August 29th. Tuesday

I got a ridiculous amount of free time over RA training. Most of our sessions ran short, meaning we had a lot of time to kill. I’d have been okay if I had more to do, but I really don’t lately. I have a hard time being productive when my schedule is volatile like it is now. It would have helped if I had more stuff to set up in my room. But I don’t. There are only so many ways you can arrange two suitcases and a bed. I don’t have any bosom friends in the RA group; I’m friendly with all of them but I don’t hang out with any, really. I’m pretty bored, to be honest.

Lately, I’m spending a lot of time with Ella, the international student from last year. The camping trips lasted a week, meaning that she’s only been back for like three days. But the trip she was one was only a short hike away from campus, so I visited them once while they were out. Since they got back, however, Ella and I have gotten a lot closer. Despite my rigid routine, we’ve spent the last two nights rock climbing and playing piano for hours. Also, since she’s not a student, she doesn’t have much in the way of housing arrangements, so she’s been sleeping in my room.

I like Ella. I like like Ella. But she’s got a person at home and she’s only here for another few days, so I don’t see any reason to push things with her. Nothing has happened between us. And I’m okay with that. Stop bringing it up.

Ella’s been a great distraction from my overtime job of hyper-analyzing my own consciousness. So far, romance is one of the only emotional stimulants I’ve found that works while I’m on Accutane. I haven’t felt this much of anything in a long time. Maybe since Anna.


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