July 24th. Monday
I felt totally like myself today. I kinda forgot that I was supposed to be mentally impaired, so I wasn’t. It might also have something to do with my dosage. Maybe I’m just imagining that last part because it’s the same brand. I haven’t ever heard of a medicine that hurts less as you take more of it. I might also just be healing from the breakneck pace of school.
Home sucks hard. I can’t get out of the house. Summer is supposed to the fun part of the year, but I had a lot more people to spend time with and freedom during the school year. That’s pretty sad, because I was hella busy at school. We don’t have cars to spare and we live pretty far from my friends’ houses. Also, I’m expected to spend a lot of time at home and subscribe to the household meal schedule. So I’m largely trapped at home. When I say that home is awful, this is what I mean by that. It’s such a simple thing, not having people to spend time with. But it doesn’t stop sucking.
I realized this only halfway through my shift, but I rolled out of bed this morning without even looking at myself. I work first shift, so I wake up at 4:15am and rush out the door to get to work in time. This might play a part in my morning complexion apathy, but this isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I don’t have clean skin, but it’s gotten so much better that I feel like I have clear skin. My standard as changed, so I’m still getting familiar with what bad and good are. It all just looks good to me because I’m used to it being much worse.