June 14th. Wednesday
Work is turning out to be a good distraction. A good escape from home and boredom and mental cannibalism. It’s stressful, it can be unpleasant, sure. But the only difference is that at work, I’m making money. It’s time better spent. My job’s kinda fulfilling too. I got the highest efficiency numbers in our department yesterday.
I also started journaling again. It was awesome. For the first time in a long while, I was able to get thoughts down on paper and out of my being. I never get that feeling anymore. Every time I tried journaling at school after starting medication, journaling was almost more stressful than therapeutic. I think this was because I was jogging up emotions that I hadn’t yet processed and trying to process them all at the same time. This was ineffective and I ended up with more anxiety than when I started. Today, when I journaled, I was able to get everything on my mind out onto paper. I did it in a way that helped me acknowledge what I was feeling and progress from there. Also, I didn’t feel safe keeping the journal at home, so I hid it in the library close to my house.
I’m getting weird bumps. Big bumps. Like pimples, just big and light pink instead of white. There just under a centimeter in size and kinda painful when touched. I’ve only gotten one of my face, but a lot more on my legs and lower back. I think they’re just deeper versions of the kinds of acne I usually get on my face.
The spot is still there.