May 10th. Wednesday
I’m in a bad way… Finals are over and done with but that hardly means I have time to be. I have RA training for the following semester. I have RA events to plan. I have a room to pack up. I want to spend time with friends before we all leave for break. I have somewhat of a relationship. I’m being pulled in a lot of different directions and soon I’ll be in a lot of places at once.
I’m so tired… I’ve been in situations like this before. It’s my nature to be involved in many things, but I’m able to do it effectively and gracefully. Or at very least non-self-destructively. This is not the case right now.
Maybe it would also help if the work I Was doing right now felt important. Training is kinda dumb. Being an RA is an important job, and there is a lot of protocol you need to know. But that’s now what we’re learning right now. This is more the hokey team building garbage variety of training. There are good team builders. And then there’s making shapes with rope on the ground as a group and talking about how they made us feel. I think my time could be used much more effectively. Even if I was doing absolutely nothing. Especially if I was doing absolutely nothing. I didn’t know I would ever feel this way, but I’m actually excited for the year to be over.